White Rabbit
by Martin Whitlock
Summary: Seth Clearwater is hospitalized for mental health problems. Can one doctor save him? SLASH. J/S
1. Chapter 1

"New patient doctor, he's out now, but he should be waking up in the next hour or so."

"Seth Clearwater, age 18, Height 6'4, weight 195. Wow. This is a big kid. It says he's here for attempted suicide. But there are no lacerations on the wrist or abrasions on the neck. Pill eater?"

"That's just the thing. When we got there his wrists looked like hamburger. Literally. It was down to the bone and I'm almost positive he bled out completely."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey. This is my second fic. The first one flopped so i'm here to try again. This fic is titled after the song white rabbit by Jefferson Airplane. Its on youtube if you haven't heard it. Go listen to it cause it'll probably give you some idea as to where i'm coming from.  
**

I wake up in a dark room and I'm tied down to the hard bed I'm on. I tug at the restraints expecting them to shred, but they hold strong. I pull harder, this time as hard as I can. It holds strong. I thrash as hard as I can and scream as loud as I can.

I hear a snap, clear as day and pain burst from my arm. I start screaming louder. I hear a door open, and shuffling footsteps. A sharp prick and I feel like my body is made of lead. I try to raise my head and I feel as though I'm drunk.

"Close your eyes, son" I hear, and a second later, too fast for me to react, there is a blinding light. Once my eyes adjust I can see a doctor, a nurse, and two blond haired bricks that I'm sure are there to keep me from trying anything. "I'm going to untie you now. Can you be good?"

I groan in compliance. I'm free a moment later and I feel a hot hand on my chest.

"No Seth, you seem to have broken your arm here, and I'm going to have to look at it. Tell me if this hurts." I feel his hand grab my upper arm by my shoulder, and wiggle my arm softly. I shriek as though he were waving it madly around. I whimper and turn my head away, trying not to let the doc see me crying. There are only more eyes from the staff in the room, and from the office outside.

"I'm sorry." The doctor says, rubbing my chest softly. "Now, I'm going to put you out so we can get this taken care of, but I will see you in the morning."

His voice is cheery baritone, and I don't want to go under, but I don't have a choice. I feel the prick, and then I'm under again.

"Seth Clearwater. For your crimes against the pack. The tribe. And your family. I am sentencing you to relinquish your shape shifting abilities and you are hereby banished from the Quileute reservation forever." The mad hatter says in his goofy voice. The sky is black and everything is in ruin. The table is a dead, dry gray and there are deep cracks running all along it. I Sit at the far end; I can see everyone sipping from their dingy, chipped teacups, all looking straight ahead like zombies. The hatter however is glaring at me with his yellow eyes. His pupils look like moons and he has a horrible drooling snout and a mouth full of razor sharp teeth.

"Well? What are you waiting for? GET OUT!" he bellows at me. A flock of skeletal crows is started from the dead tree nearby and everything is eerily quiet for only a second before row by row, everybody's gaze locks onto me. Their faces begin to contort into the same ugly, vehement face of the hatter.

I run, and they are split seconds away from me. I try to shift to do anything but I can't. I run and run and they chase me, jowls snapping like falling trees. Growls like thunder. Suddenly there is a howl that commands everything and they all stop chasing me. I don't stop running.

I wake up screaming. My head pounds as the events of last night came flooding back. There is a loud bang as the door is flung open and there is a nurse by my side, a needle in her hand.

"NO!" I shriek, shrinking back away from her, I notice my unbroken right arm is bound.

"Please" it's a hoarse whisper, but she looks at me and smiles.

"Don't worry sweet heart. It was only in case you were still in the same mood you were last night." She smiles and comes over to undo the Velcro on my arm. "We've set you up with a room, so come with me."

I followed her out of the room and into a small office. There were people sitting at one long desk, computer monitors, and camera monitors. She directed me to stand next to a strange machine and took my temperature, 98.6, and my blood pressure.

I followed her down a long hallway, doors on either side, to the end room on the left.

"This is your room. Right now you have one to yourself, but you'll probably get a room mate soon. Your stuff is over there, and anything that isn't there will be returned to you when you leave. We should be able to get your doctor in here soon. He'll explain the rest." She said, leaving the room, and closing the door behind her.

I sighed and sat on my bed. The room was nondescript, with a window. There was only one half of the shade, and it only opened about a third of an inch. I sighed again, this time my heart more heavy. The tears were threatening when I heard the soft click of the door.

I turned around and saw a man standing just inside the door. He was tall, taller than me. His hair was the same jet black and I could tell immediately he was a native. I was almost positive he was Quileute but couldn't be sure.

"Hello. I'm Doctor Black" He said, smiling. I couldn't help but smile back stupidly as he held out his hand. There was a fluttery feeling in my stomach that I had only felt once before, and I grasped his hand firmly. It was hot, supporting my suspicion. "Now, why don't we sit down and discuss why you're here."

He motioned for me to sit on the bed and sat opposite of me.

"I… I tried to kill myself" I whispered softly. I looked down at my hands and I could still see the blood rushing out of me. My breathing started to pick up and my chest felt like it had a rubber band around it, constricting my breathing.

"Calm down, now. Take a deep breath and count to ten." Dr. Black said. He had gotten up to sit next to me and was now rubbing my back softly. I could feel his heat and smell the forest on him.

"You're a Quileute aren't you" I said softly. He removed his hand and stood up.

"A what?" he said. I could tell he was going to get defensive. I lifted up the sleeve on my left shoulder to show him my tattoo, only to find it was gone.

I was no longer paying any attention to the doctor as I ripped my shirt off and looked down to my shoulder again, hoping it was there. I couldn't breath and I felt hot and sweaty. I ran to the bathroom, my stocking feet skidding on the linoleum. I stood in front of the mirror, and looked at myself.

"Its not there" I whispered in defeat. I could see Dr. Black watching me from the other room. Tears gushed from my eyes.

"ITS NOT THERE" I screamed, smashing my fists into the mirror. I yelped as I bruised my hands and realized the mirror was plastic at the same time. My knees went weak and I was a heap on the floor, sobbing and trying to catch my breath.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, there were no more tears. I hugged my chest tightly and gasped for breath. I looked around and didn't see anyone. I slowly stood and grabbed onto the sink when my head started spinning. Staggering into the next room I was startled to see Dr. Black sitting there, looking solemn.

"What's missing, Seth?" he asked softly.

"I had… I had a tattoo on my shoulder… it was a symbol of my tribe. Buy now it's gone." I said, plopping down on my bed. I lay on my side in a fetal position and silently cry a little bit more. It wasn't so much crying, as it was left over emotion leaking out of me, only the mattress. My breath was shuddering.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?" He asked.

"I got… kicked out…" I said my voice was hardly a whisper. "They found out and I got… kicked out"

"Of what?"

"My tribe"

"What did they find out about?"

"They found out I'm gay… and they kicked me out" I said, then the world was dark, and I was in a land of sleep.

**Alright everyone. What did you think? The strange 'Alice' style dream is from the drugs they were pumping him with. Anyone who'd been hospitalized, mental or physical, knows that those doctors LOVE their drugs. Anyway, go review please. I always love to know what you have to say about my stories. Much love. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone. New chapter. Let me know what you think. It's sorta graphic and pretty violent.**

We were all sitting at first beach when it happened. It had been hard to hide from my pack but I had decided that for the good of everyone they should know. When I told them it was like I had told the funniest joke in the world. They all erupted in laughter.

I yelled, trying to make myself heard. It took a few minutes for them to settle down.

"I'm serious you guys. I think I'm gay" I said, looking at the ground. I could feel their stares burning holes in me.

"Ew." Quill said, simply getting up and walking away. Embry walked away too, but didn't say anything.

"You're a fuckin' faggot? I'm afraid I'm going to have to do something about this." Sam said. His voice related everything but regret.

When I got home no one said anything to me. I went to sleep. When I wake up I hear yelling. My parents are fighting again. Dad's probably drunk. Mom's gonna have bruises. It's all my fault. I climb out my window and run into the woods. I don't shift. I don't want anyone to find me.

I finally stop running when the woods are too thick to navigate in my human form. My arms are scraped, and I'm covered in dirt and moss and sweat and grime. The blackness is absolute. If not for my enhanced senses I would not be able to see. I can hear water, and just ahead of me is a stream fed pool. It looks deep and cool; the top is glassy and reflects the waning crescent in the sky.

I strip off my clothes and walk into the chilled water. It's refreshing after running for I don't know how long. I swim out to the middle and I can feel trout swimming against my legs. I wish I could tell my friends about this place, but I'll never get that chance. I hold my breath and let myself sink.

I can feel the pressure getting heavier, but I don't seem to need to breath. Suddenly I'm rising. I break water and pull in a sharp breath of air. The air is rancid, and I'm floating in what seems to be a well full of waste and sick.

The well is very large around and there are four large rocks. On each there is a mermaid. They had stringy jet black hair and their lips were very chapped and cracked. I climbed up onto the fourth rock and sat there. I realized I was naked, but quite clean and dry. I wasn't self conscious because the mermaids were also naked.

"Ello" One said, her voice was sharp, but tired. "Would yu like some treacle? It's all we eat"

"Um… no, thank you." I said.

"It's very sweet" She said, thrusting the jar at me.

"Ee don't want no treacle" The third said. Her voice was very throaty. She had bright fire red hair and pale skin. The second had yet to say anything. She was looking very green at the moment, and I suspect she was sick when she turned her head away from me.

"Well wat do yu wont ere?" The second said after a few minutes. She turned her head toward me and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. I jumped as I saw my mother, her eyes was an ugly black and red bruise around her eye, and a big red spot where a vessel had burst on her eye. Her nose leaked blood steadily.

I woke up with a start, and almost drown floundering around in the middle of the lake. I had fallen asleep and woken floating on my back. I swim until I touch ground and cough out water. The sun is starting to rise over the horizen so I quickly dressed and jogged home.

When I got home my dad was on the porch. I walked up the stairs slowly, trying not to look away from his hard gaze. He stood up when I stepped onto the porch. I tried to run but he grabbed my arm and threw me into the house.

I fell onto the floor in the living room. I could see mom sitting on the couch holding herself, her face and arms bruised just like the mermaid's. I started to cry for her.

"What are you cryin' for fairy? It's your fuckin fault this happened!" My sister screamed at me from the kitchen.

My father walked into the house and closed the door, locking it securely. He then closed all the blinds so the house was dark, except for the little rays that shown through the slits in the blinds. I could see all the dust motes floating in the air.

"Stand up" my father said, after all the windows had been closed. "Is it true what everybody said?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I looked at the ground. My whole body trembled as he took a step forward.

"Answer me!" He shouted in my face.

I flinched and cried out, "Yes!"

He growled and slapped me across the face, knocking me to the ground. I lay there, limp, trying not to move. Trying not to make a sound. I heard him stomp up behind me and he grabbed me by my hair and picked me up.

My feet dangled off the floor, and my scalp felt as if it would tear off at any moment. My mother was crying on the sofa. Her nose had finally stopped bleeding but her eye was swelling shut. My father slapped me again and dropped me on the floor.

"Go to your room. Sam's called a council and I don't want to see you until I have to take you." He said, coldly. He kicked me once in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I curled into a ball and tried to regain my breath. I heard the back door shut. Dad would be in his shed.

"I hate you Seth." Leah said, going to wash the blood off mom's face and take care of her. That was usually my job.

I finally managed to stand up and wobble to my room. I collapsed on my bed and the world was dark.

**read and review please.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone out there in cyber land. Not much of an author's note last time so I'm going to try to explain a few things about my fic. First: I decided that Jacob Black is 10 years older than Seth, Second: When Seth was kicked out of the pack/tribe his shape shifting abilities were taken from him... maybe. Third: His strange dreams are caused by stress and the medication he's taking. I still haven't decided what disorders he suffers from, or how long he'll be in there, suggestions? Fourth, the mermaids are (British) from the story told by the dormouse. They're the mermaids that lived at the bottom of the well. One more thing. In an upcoming chapter, there's going to be a visitor. If you have any suggestions on who it should be then suggest. If you do so in time i might be able to work around who you want to see visit Seth. **

When I woke up again, the sun was streaming into my room through the section of the window without a curtain. I felt groggy and wanted to go right back to sleep, but there was a nurse sitting on the bed opposite me who quickly prevented that.

"come on champ. Get up." he said in a cheery voice. He came over and grabbed my wrist, taking my pulse. He jotted that down on his clip board. I sat up and felt a little dizzy as I looked around the room. I could see it better now, but there wasn't much else to see.

I changed into the extra clothes I had tied to my leg when they found me, and I brushed my teeth with the toothbrush they gave me. Before exiting the bathroom I caught my eye in the reflection. I looked horrible. My hair was stringy and I had dark circles under my eyes. My pupils were completely black and i shuddered as hungry vampires came to mind.

I stepped out the nurse was standing with a mile on his face to greet me. I smiled back, shyly. He was almost as tall as me, but skinny. He looked like a teenager stretched into an awkward man. His hair was blond and cropped neatly. I suspected he had worn it long when he was younger.

"We're havin a bit of an issue trying to decide which ward to put you in." he said offhandedly as we walked down the hall. It stank like hospital and the artificial light made it eery. It was cold. "See. You're legally an adult, but since your so young, and there's no one in your age group for you to socialize with in the adult ward, we might put you in pediatrics."

"I don't want to go into any ward. I just want to leave" I said quietly. My eyes had taken a fixed stare at the ugly carpet. I was glad there was something in this hall that wasn't white.

"well, I'm sorry bud, but I don't have the power to let you leave. If it were up to me, though, you would be home right now huggin your family" he said. I tried not to break down. I knew he was trying to help, honestly.

"I don't have a family", The words were out of my mouth before I could even think to stop them.

"Oh. I'm.. sad to hear that." he put his hand on my shoulder for a moment, and we walked the rest of the way in silence.

He took me all the way down the hall to the office in front of the room I first woke up in. I waited outside while he brought out a cart and another staff. She had me sit down in a chair while she took my temperature and my blood pressure.

"now, in a few minutes we're going to let everyone out of their rooms. The day room is right over there" she pointed to the room I had passed. "and please stay out of the halls. If you need anything, my name is Debbie and I usually sit in that chair right over there."

The chair was in the hall. I wondered how I was supposed to talk to her when I wasn't supposed to be in the hall.

"um… how long am I going to be here?" I decided to focus on a more important question.

"I don't know yet. You were out for two days, today is Saturday, so your doctor won't be back until Monday. He decides when you leave." She said. She had none of the pleasant warmth of the other nurse, who had seemed to disappear.

I nodded and blushed slightly when my stomach growled.

"I'll have them bring up two plates for you" She whispered, giving me a wink and a smile. I started to like her just a little better. "Now go find a nice chair in the day room."

I nodded one more time and shuffled into the day room. It was bright and actually pleasant. There was writing and drawings covering every inch of the walls. I smiled as I read them to myself. They were goals and promises and wishes. In big black walls I read "to meet MY Marilyn Manson" I laughed aloud and nodded. I loved Manson.

I saw another one that said "life's a dick. When it gets hard walk it off." I laughed at that too. I sat myself in a corner and put my feet on the chair next to me.

I had only a minute to gather my thoughts before people started to trickle in. Most wore bedheads, but some of the girls had theirs perfectly combed. Some of them had a zombie like stare on their faces. Most of them were about 16 but there were a few that were clearly my age and a few that were clearly too young to have to be here.

Most of them were staring at me and my heart started to quicken as did my breath. I looked down at my shoes trying to ignore them. I was startled out of my trance when I heard a loud clap. A large man with a beard and a gut came strutting into the room.

"Hello everybody." A some of the people said hi and some looked confused. I was in the latter. "for those of you who don't know me, I'm dave. I'm a prison guard and I volenteer here. Telling you about what it's like on the inside so you can make wise decisions."

My eyebrows furrowed but I listened anyway. He told a story about a guy who was found to be using his infant daughter to smuggle drugs inside the prison. They had been inserting it into her… area. And one of the guards found blood on the baby's blanket.

I was almost sick when one of the nurses came to fetch me.

"Your breakfast is here. We can't let you go downstairs until your doctor clears it. You can eat in your room if you like" Debbie told me.

I took my trays to my room and sat on my bed and ate slowly. The food wasn't too bad, but it wasn't great either.

There was a nock on the door as a started my second tray and I was surprised when I saw Dr. Black walking into my room. I almost choked on my biscuit and was very embarrassed.

"I thought you weren't going to be here until Monday" I said, confused. I wiped the crumbs off my shirt and wiped my mouth.

" I figured it would be best if I came in to get you started." he said. There was an oddly shy look on his face, and he turned to face the window when he saw me staring intently at him. " Since you haven't been able to take your meds normally, we've had to give them to you through IV. This can have a very different effect than orally taking them. Have you had any strange dreams?"

My heart pounded and I was sure he could hear it. But I answered "No."

"good" He said turning his head toward me and giving me a quick smile.

**one more thing, i see that a lot of people have read and favorited my story, but don't review. If you read it please take the time to tell me what you think and where you'd like to see the characters end up. Thank you all!**

**special thanks to Tienai, who is the only one, out of the like.. 20 people who have read this, to review. and my apologies for the darkness, I'll see about making it lighter during realities. It will get better as Seth does. Remember that he's having a really tough time right now, and don't give up hope on secret allies just yet ;)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Alrighty then. Fueled by chronic and massive insomnia, i am two chapters ahead, so i figured i didn't have to wait to post this one. I got some pretty great reviews on the last chapter and that totally makes me want to write more. So keep 'em coming! If you would like for me to feature any particular character in one of seth's dreams, be it a twilight character or an 'alice' character, please do tell. All twilight characters will be cleverly disguised as 'alice' characters. Have you figured out which characters are corresponding two which? Let me know what you think! I love to hear your questions, qualms, and suggestions! **

I was unsure of what to think of the doctor's comment, but we walked in silence. We exited through the door next to the office and entered the elevator. He stood behind me and I was sure I felt his eyes on me. We exited the elevator in the main lobby and walked down a few more halls until we came to the cafeteria. I was hit with a repugnant odor as he opened the door and I felt ill.

"I… I don't feel too hungry anymore" I said sheepishly.

"Don't worry. It tastes better than it smells. Plus, you have to eat otherwise we'll have to start monitoring you after meals to make sure you don't develop any eating disorders. It's just more simple this way." he said. He put his hand on my back and pushed me softly, but firmly into the cafeteria.

I hadn't noticed how big he was because we had never been very close, but I noticed now that my head came just above his shoulder. His forearms were huge. I could only imagine what he looked like naked. In wolf form for that matter even!

I quickly shook these thoughts out of my head as I silently grabbed my tray and food. I noticed a few of the other kids but didn't acknowledge them. I was disappointed Dr. Black wasn't there when I got back from the line so I ate in silence.

After lunch we went to the gym. It was a carpeted little room with volleyball poles and a basketball hoop. I wondered how to play basket ball on the carpet. Apparently there was nothing to it because as soon as we got into the room most of the boys started playing. I sat in the corner and hoped I didn't get hit by the ball.

"Aye!" I was startled out of my mind and noticed three of the guys standing in a half circle in front of me. "You wanna play"

I thought for a moment, then stood up, without saying anything, and grabbed the ball that was offered. I took it in both hands and quickly feigned right, then went left and took the ball all the way to the hoop before they realized what was happening.

"What? Can't keep up?" I said, smiling and passing the ball back to them. We played a friendly game for a while but I could tell that one of the guys was getting mad at me blocking him all the time. Things finally came to a head when he threw the ball at my face, causing my nose to rupture.

I yelped and grabbed my nose for a moment before swinging with all my might and catching him in the side of the head, sending him into the wall so hard it put a huge dent in it and he fell on the floor, knocked out.

The room was silent for a second before a nurse grabbed my arm firmly and pulled me toward the door. She had a grave look on her face and I saw two nurses walking past us carrying a stretcher. The elevator ride was awkward, but the nurse let go of my arm.

"You shouldn't have done that" She said curtly. I had never seen her before, so her words had little effect on me. "It was probably an accident"

"No." I said, using the voice I use when I want to get a point across. "He made eye contact before he threw the ball directly at me."

She didn't say a word to me the rest of the way. When I stepped out of the elevator one of the big blonds I saw when I first got here grabbed my arm a little more firmly. I jerked out of his grip and relayed to him my ability to walk without being escorted.

I got to sit in the Q.R., or quiet room, until it was dark. By that time I had been informed that I was not cleared to leave the floor anymore. I sighed and returned to my room only to find a new person sitting on my bed.

"Um… hello?" I said softly. He whipped around, his eyes wide and scared looking. "Uh… that's my bed"

"Oh… sorry" he said. His hair was shaggy and dyed black. His eyes were a steely gray that I was sure would turn black like the rest of the patient's here. I silently sat on my own bed, contemplating what had happened.

"Um… you've got blood on your face." my roommate said softly, fingering his upper lip to indicate where. I had forgotten about my nose. I sighed and walked into the bathroom to wash my face. I sighed softly, discontentedly, and again appraised myself in the mirror. I realized, again, that I had not showered and slowly turned around to face the shower.

After letting the water run for 5 whole minutes, the water was still cold. Defeated, I stepped into the cold shower and gasped as the frigid water hit my skin. I showered as quickly as I could before stepping off and toweling myself down.

When I left the bathroom I was relieved to find my roommate gone. I sat on my bed and wondered what it was that people did during the day. I still hadn't been back to the day room since the gruesome lecture about drug dealing child molesters. Even thinking about that made my stomach churn.

I stood up, moments later, stretched, and walked down the hall to where Debbie was fabled to sit. She wasn't there. I sighed heavily. Defeated twice in the same day. By a shower, and by a chair. I poked my head into the day room and a few heads turned toward me. The guy I knocked out wasn't there. I slowly walked to my same corner and sat, ignoring the stares of everyone.

"Hey." I heard a guy's voice, directed at me, coming from over by the TV where they had a Nintendo hooked up. I looked up and saw a striking pair of green eyes staring at me. The boy looked around my age and he had horrible acne covering his face. His hair was long and red and one of his front teeth was chipped.

"Hey" I said, my voice came out a whisper and I cleared my throat, repeating myself.

"Is it true that you knocked some kid out?" he said, his voice sounded excited, and I figured that things must be pretty dull around here.

"Yeah. He almost broke my nose" I said, pointing at my bruised nose.

"He must have been a wimp. You don't look like much" He said smugly, turning back to the TV to finish his game. I rolled my eyes and continued to stare at my shoes.

I heard my name being called from in the hallway and I stood silently, walking from the room with my head held tall. I was greeted by the first nurse I saw, I found out his name was David, and there was also a woman with him.

She had warm eyes and was a voluptuous woman. Her hair was pulled back and frizzed out so that anyone standing behind her would be hidden. She reminded me of one of my estranged aunt, whom I had only met a few times.

"You must be Seth" She said in a jovial voice. She looked me up and down and I could see in her eyes that she wished she was about twenty years younger. "Well now, aren't you just a tall drink of water, eh? Hahaha, My name is Sandra, and I'll be your counselor. Come with me please"

I remained silent and followed her into one of the doors that were kept locked; I had never seen the inside. I looked around the room and it reminded me of a grade school class room. There was a small blackboard behind the desk, but there was only a small amount of space in front of it. There was one other chair and the office felt a little like a closet.

I sat down when she motioned and she sat behind her desk. We appraised each other for a moment. Her eyes were magnified by thick glasses.

"Now, Seth, why don't you tell me why you're hear, first" she said, folding her hands neatly, and putting a solemn look on her face.

"Well, like I told my doctor, I was kicked out of my tribe, and then I tried to kill myself. They kicked me out because I told them that I'm gay" I said, adding the last bit on in an effort to escape more questions I had already answered.

"And are you really gay?" she asked. I stared at her incredulously.

"What?" I said, my blood beginning to boil, "you think I told them I'm gay, waited the three long weeks TRAPPED in my room awaiting tribal counsel and then allowed myself to be kicked out for attention?"

She started when I yelled, my voice booming in an echo off the walls. There was a small knock on the door and it cracked. I saw David peek his head into the office.

"Everything okay in here?" he asked.

"We're fine" I snapped, Sandra just smiled and nodded at David. The door clicked shut and we were alone again.

She watched me, and I watched her watch me. There was an awkward silence before she again breathed, and asked: "So, you're gay, and your family didn't like that?"

"To put it lightly, yes. But in truth, they hated it. When I got home the night that I came out, my mom was sitting on the couch, broken and bleeding. Dad was drunk, and Leigh… well she of course blamed it all on me." My chest started to tighten. I could still remember the sight of her cleaning mom's wounds on the couch. A tear streamed from my eye.

"You say your mother was broken. Who broke her?" She asked. Her voice was calm, warm, and sympathetic.

"My dad did" My voice caught and tears started flowing more freely. I still remembered the pain, the screams and the livid look of pure hatred on his face as he threw me onto the floor.

"Did he do this often?" My vision had clouded over, and everything sounded far away. My eyes were wide and staring, but unseeing.

"Yes. He liked to drink. He liked to drink and get angry. He liked to get drunk, come home and beat my mother. Sometimes he would slap Leigh if she talked back to him. But he never laid a hand on me. Until that night anyway. I was his son, you know. His pride and joy. When he found out though, I was nothing to him"

"Okay, let's change the subject" Sandra said, her voice was a whisper, and when I finally looked at her, she was wiping a tear away from her eyes. "Did you ever use any drugs?"

"Nothing heavy. I've gotten drunk, and smoked weed, but drugs like meth and crank don't really make their way that far north. At least not onto the rez. I guess we're just bad for business." I said. I was glad to be talking about something other than my dad.

"And what are your friends like?" She asked. I guess she wanted to bring up something positive, but she was looking in the wrong place.

"I don't have any friends any more. I'm completely alone." I said. I gave a shuddering sigh and wiped away the last few tears that leaked out.

"Why did you hit Tony today? In the gym after lunch" She asked. Her voice lacked the accusing tone that my escort's had.

"He threw the ball directly at my face. I think he's a sore loser." I said. There was an edge to my voice.

"Well, he woke up a little while ago. He admitted what you just told me, but I have to tell you that we don't tolerate any violence here. Try to keep your anger in check, and in the mean time I'm going to suggest we up your mood stabilizer." She said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Well, our time is up for today. I'll try to see you next week, if you're still here."

With that we both stood up and I walked slowly back to the day room. I noticed Debbie sitting in her chair.

"Hey" I said timidly. I was in the hall. "What do people do for fun around here?"

"Well, when you're on the floor there isn't a whole lot other than colouring and writing in your journal, but if you want I could probably scrounge up a book or two." she said, getting up and heading for the office. I stood where I was, waiting. "Get out of the hall"

**Yeah. I guess i haven't mentioned it, but this story is LOOSELY based on my own experiences. I remember getting in trouble for being in the hall, so... Seth had to as well. **

**Seth sorta snapped in this one a little bit didnt he? And no one thought he could fight, HA!**

**Teinai has reviewed on almost every, if not all, chapters and sahisdabest has pleased me with his/her compliments. You are much appreciated by this humble writer. **


	6. Chapter 6

**BONUS CHAPTER WOOOOOO! ~BALLOONS AND CONFETTI~**

**Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I am dedicating this chapter to my constant reader Teinai for her support and constructive criticism.**

I slept fitfully that night, but after trying for hours I finally made my way down the hallway to the nurse's station to ask for a sleep aid. They gave me a pill and a warm cup of water and I made my way back to my room, already feeling groggy by the time I laid my head on my pillow.

When I woke up my room was empty, and the bed next to mine was neatly made. The morning went as usual. The nurse took our vitals, we had group, and we went down to breakfast. I didn't eat much but stared out the window the whole time.

"Hey" I said, leaning over to David, who was sitting next to me, "Do we ever get to go outside or anything? I came from the forest and I'm starting to get cabin fever. It's been like a whole week since I've even smelled fresh air."

He either sensed the desperation in my voice, or was in a very good mood, but he motioned for one of the other nurses to come over.

"I can only let you out into the smoking area, but it's the best I can do" He said, I sat quietly on the bench.

I was very disappointed to find that this area was wholly concrete. I wanted to sit in the grass under the trees beyond the fence, but was trapped in a cage. I closed my eyes for a few moments and when I opened them David was gone. I looked around perplexed, but figured that he would be back out in a few moments to claim me. I sighed, continuing to look longingly at the mighty oak trees that surrounded the hospital.

I was very surprised when I saw a stark white rabbit hop out from behind one of the trees. It looked as though it was foraging for food, hopping around aimlessly, but making its way closer to me. Finally it had made its way to the edge of the concrete.

"Psst" I heard. I stared incredulously at the rabbit, which made no sign of making the noise. I rubbed my eyes and suddenly the bars trapping me were bent so I could squeeze through them. The rabbit looked at me, jerking its head away from the hospital, and starting to hop quickly away.

I stared around, confused and a little frightened, and followed when I saw there was no one around who could stop me. The sky started to cloud a little bit, the farther away I walked from the hospital. I walked for I don't know how long, the rabbit always at least 6 or 8 feet away from me, and when I looked back, the hospital wasn't there.

I turned back and saw the rabbit. It was wearing a funny little coat, and was sitting up like a begging dog. Its eyes were deep brown with a gold ring around the pupil. I felt a wave of emotion wash over me as I saw the poor rabbit's miserable eyes. Suddenly, I recognized them.

My legs gave way as I fell to the ground. Tears had started to form in my eyes as I felt incredible sadness radiating from the wretched creature. It hopped into my lap and I held it. I heard a soft whisper in my head as I continued to stare into the eyes of the rabbit.

"I'm sorry" The whisper said in a crackly voice. The tone of devastation was unbearable and I could tell it was the voice of someone who was crying. "I should have been there for you. I should have stopped them. If only someone would have stood up for you. Maybe this wouldn't have happened."

I listened to the voice repeat its apologies, crying along with it, for an unnamable amount of time before suddenly the sky darkened, and an immense black crow swept low over us, its claws just missing my head. The rabbit gave a screech and bolted off running, but the fiend caught it be its coat and it shrieked and wriggled.

Finally it made loose from the crow's grasp and fell to the ground with a small thud. It was stunned but in an instant was running back toward me. It jumped back into my arms and looked me dead in the face.

"I'll come back for you. I swear!" It was Embry's voice. The crow had circled back around and the rabbit jumped from my arms, bolting into a nearby tree with a hutch at the base of its trunk.

The crow had flown off and I stood there, stunned. Embry had told me he would come back to me; through a dream; in the form of the white rabbit.

Suddenly I was falling for a short second, before hitting the concrete and smacking my face on the ground. I groaned and curled into myself, cradling my head. I sat up a moment later and surveyed my surroundings. The bars were not bent, the hospital was still here, and there were no rabbit's hutches anywhere near any of the trees.

Then I remembered the eyes. Embry's brown eyes with the golden ring around the pupil. Tears started streaming out of my eyes when I pictured the white rabbit. I sat against the bars, still on the ground, and sobbed aloud when the rabbit's tortured face transformed into Embry's. Tears streaming; a forlorn look on his face.

**Okay, i decided to lighten up on the fear and maybe let some sadness start to sink in. Maybe this dream will inspire Seth to complete his program so he can be discharged? Think he'll feel he has at least one person to live for now? I guess we'll find out.**

**As always, review are loved, cherished, and kept forever.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**So after the last chapter, i was having a little bit of trouble coming up with something to impress and astound the readers. So i called in back up? who did i call? No... not ghost busters... and for the record, that joke hasn't been funny since the '80s. All i can say is that if you really want to find out you should keep reading cause you totally will. **

**Thank you again Teinai for your continuous support.  
**

I hadn't noticed that David was still standing by. He rushed over to me and put his hand on my back. He didn't say anything, but was there for me in, his way. Finally I managed to get my sobs under control. My eyes felt hot and my head ached when I finally allowed David to help me up.

"David" I croaked. "Take me back up please."

I wanted to sleep. I was suddenly very tired and all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and sleep. He nodded silently, patting my shoulder softly. I honestly liked David. I felt he had a good soul. If I could see auras like some vampires can, his would probably be green. The colour of life. Bright like grass or fresh leaves.

We spent the whole ride in silence and when the doors opened he put his hand on my shoulder to keep me from walking.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked, looking directly into my eyes. His eyes were a deep blue green. I was hypnotized for a moment before I shook myself back into reality.

"I… It's nothing" I said. I didn't want anyone to think I was delusional or something. How could I tell him that my friend had somehow astroprojected himself into the form of the white rabbit in order to haunt my dreams with his regret? I felt a sudden bitterness. Hind sight's 20/20 isn't it? Now you wanted to do something. Now you wanted to be my friend. Unfortunately for the both of us, it was already too late.

I let out a huff and I'm sure there was a scowl on my face. I took a deep breath and counted to ten, I learned that in group, and then looked back into blue orbs.

"I'd really like to lay down now" I said, my voice sounded tight, and I felt guilty. I didn't want to be rude to David. He nodded, giving a quick crooked smile before taking me back to the ward. When we were inside the doors, I turned to him and said: "That little bit of anger there wasn't directed at you. I don't want to be rude to you so I'm sorry. You're actually a very nice person and you didn't deserve that"

"Seth. Listen to me; I understand what you're going through. Maybe not entirely, but I can sympathize with being in a hospital surrounded by people you don't know anything about, and feeling alone and scared. I've been through it. I know you didn't mean to take it out on me. But know that no matter what, you can talk to me and I'll get you whatever help I can. I promise" David told me sincerely. He rubbed my back between my shoulder blades a second before he turned to walk away, slowly.

I wandered back to my room, and looked out the window for a moment. My room faced a different side of the hospital, but it looked very similar to the area in which I looked at from the smoking section. I sighed heavily and turned away from the window. I lay down, and noticed that my roommates bed was far from tidy.

I was in the well again. Only… I wasn't. I don't think anyone could see me, But I saw the middle one arguing with the redhead. It seemed that the third was following the middle one. Suddenly, the middle one Jumped off her rock and started swimming down. The third one looked sadly at the first and followed.

I saw them break water in my pool in the woods and they were human. I saw them swim out to shore and walk out. It was Leah and my mother. They dressed in clothes left on a rock and started walking through the woods. Away from home.

I sat up quickly and breathed heavily. There was a sheen of sweat on my forehead and I trembled. What was happening to me? Suddenly I thought, did Mom and Leah really leave? I think they should if they didn't. I didn't cry this time, and the dream didn't weigh heavy on my mind.

I washed my face quickly and went to the day room. There was a group session in progress and I was asked to join. When it came to me I spoke calmly. Relating only that my family kicked me out after they found out. There were not many reactions. A few of the guys furrowed their eyebrows but it wasn't like they were disgusted. I heard one of the girls squeal and then blush when I looked at her.

"I'm sorry! I just think that's so adorable" She said excitedly. I was shocked and stared at her disbelieving.

"uh… thanks I guess" I said, still confused.

"I didn't mean to talk out of turn or be rude, sorry Seth" she said, blushing and embarrassed red.

"That's alright, I didn't think you were being rude. I've just never had anyone react that way" I said, giving her a small smile. She brightened up after that, and talked excitedly about how she felt happy that she had made a new friend today.

After group ended, she came and sat down next to me. She leaned in close and said in a low voice,

"so what's the whole story?" My pulse quickened as my mind went immediately to the pack and the great secret. I relaxed as I realized that I didn't even keep that secret any more, and turned to her and calmly replied,

"What ever do you mean?"

She giggled and punched me in the arm firmly. "I mean what else happened. No one tells the whole story in group."

"well, dad was an abusive drunk, Literally the whole town ganged up and ran me out and then I ate my own flesh off my wrists somewhere around Seattle, apparently close enough to the city to be found." I said. I don't know why I put it in such direct terms, but it seemed most appropriate at the time.

"Wow. That's horrible" She said, shrugging her shoulders. "I;m here because I started a vampire cult at my old high school. They put me here when someone found the captain of the football team suspended from the ceiling of the gym. All her blood was drained. I tried to explain that the vampires were real, and that a real one had done that to her, but they didn't believe."

I was unsure of what to think. I had seen and killed vampires, but that was deep in the forest. I wondered if I should ask her to describe the vampire but wasn't sure if she might just be crazy. How could I tell her all these things if she was just crazy?

"I was supposed to keep it secret, and I guess I probably should have. But I had to do something. Now there's a vampire chaseing me and my boyfriend, who was also a vampire, took off so now I'm left totally unprotected." She a laugh bubbled past her lips and I could almost swear her eyes were looking in different directions for a moment.

"Really? What town do you come from?" I asked. There was a den of vampires somewhere near la push.

" Forks." She said. "My dad's chief, you know."

"oookay?" I didn't understand why she felt the need to mention that but I figured I should go along for the ride.

"anyway, we were playing baseball out in the thunderstorm, and these three other vampires came up. Then the blond one started stalking me. That was when Edwardo and his whole fam damnly decided to leave."

"baseball…. In the thunderstorm" I repeated slowly.

"They're cold you know. Like marble. And it almost like they're made of stone." She said. That startled me. I knew this to be truth and there had been no previous validity to her story.

"look!" She said, Holding her hand up. There was a bite mark in her palm. It was cold and hard. I looked at her and she smiled and nodded. Her whole story was true. I sat silently, letting her story sink in.

"I'm Bella by the way" She said. "hey, I'm going to go back to my room so I'll see you later."

**ooh... Like? No like? Tell me plznthnx. Btw... bella totally came out of left field for me but i was sitting thinking one night... what if bella told someone else about Edward. and then i was like... totally. And the rest is history... er, rather a chronical of an emotionally/phyiscally abused homosexual werewolf... sorry seth... we loves you... **

**atleast if you really loved him, you'd review.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone. So how did everyone like the last chapter? I think it could have went worse. I only got two reviews though, so maybe no one loves seth like i thought they did. Anyway new chapter everyone. Can i just say that you'll totally like this one? Yeah i'm pretty confident in that. I want to say that the waits might get a little longer. I'm usually one or two chapters ahead of what i post, and now i don't have any more in stock cause i can't resist finding out what you think right when i'm done. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

The next day was truly dismal. Not only was Dr. Black not going to be here, but it was gloomy outside and there was no sun shining through the window when I woke up. By lunch it was raining and darker than ever. I sat silently in group trying to pay attention to attention to why John Doe was in here and how they were going to get out when my eyes met a pair of green ones. I saw Bella sitting across from me, a little to the right.

She noticed me looking at her and smiled at me. I smiled back and then suddenly she made a deep frown, so deep I could only see her bottom row of teeth. Her eyes looked up and crossed. I tried not to snicker as I scrunched up my face back. She giggled out loud and I had to put a hand up to hide my style, as I looked at the center of the circle.

When the counselor turned back to whoever was speaking we continued. We continued to communicate non-verbally, making fun of other people. She told me that she thought the guy sitting two seats over from me was kind of hot, and I told her that I thought Dr. Black was sexy.

When it came my turn to speak, I told the class how sometimes you found friendship in unlikely places and that maybe you should fully listen to someone before judging them as crazy. Just as I finished, there was a loud crack of thunder that shook the earth and cause most of the girls, and one or two of the guys, to shriek.

"Come on guys!" Bella said with a Cheshire grin on her face. "You don't have to be afraid, that's just vampires playing baseball!"

Most of the people in the group looked at her funny. I busted up laughing and Bella and I shared a moment of hysteria before finally calming down enough to be escorted to lunch.

"Nice, Bella" I said standing next to her in the elevator. I got a stern look from the escort. We're not supposed to talk in the halls. Sometimes, I wonder weather we're patients that need help to get over our illness, or if we're prisoners being punished for a heinous crime. We're not allowed to come into physical contact with anyone; girls and boys aren't allowed to sit right next to each other, and sometimes, I guess when the nurses get tired of looking at us, they'll put the floor on lock down and we all have to go back to our rooms.

I sat poking at my lunch, something that looked a bit like shit on a shingle, and thought about Dr. Black. I wondered about imprinting. Imprinting was supposed to insure the healthiest wolves for the pack. Or lead you to you're true love and/or soul mate. Would it be possible to imprint on another male? I did get a warm feeling every time I thought about him. I did want to make him happy, in more than one way, and I could still remember the feel of his hot skin on my back from when he last saw me. I put my hand on my shoulder. I felt a hot hand for a second then the cold air again. I stiffened and wondered if I had imagined it.

I sniffed the air and I could smell him. I turned my head and he was standing behind me. I tried not to smile too broadly, but was met with a broad smile in return. The warm fluttery feeling returned to my stomach as he stared at me, for just a little too long.

"Eh, I wasn't supposed to come in today, but I figured I might as well since I don't have anything else to do. Why don't you come with me?" Dr. Black soothing baritone hit my ears and I wanted to melt.

Wait… I had nothing better to do? I felt a flash of rage mixed with disappointment. I wanted to scream at him and tell him I wasn't some last resort person to talk to. I could feel myself start to shake, but I looked back at his hazel eyes and couldn't really remember what I was mad about or what I wanted to scream at him.

"Okay" I said stupidly after a few moments. I stood up, emptying my tray and walking out behind him. I didn't like the way his slacks covered his ass. I know for a fact that a Quileute boy has a much nicer ass than those pants gave justice.

I stepped into the elevator ahead of him and stood directly in the middle. I was trying to make him stand as close to me as he had to. He stepped in and leaned against the wall, pushing the button for the third floor. As far as elevators go, this one was slower than any other I'd ever been on. When the doors closed, I saw Dr. Black stand up straight, and then I felt his arms wrapping around me and pulling me toward him.

I felt myself collide with his solid body. He smelled like the forest, and the ocean, and dirt and salt. He smelled smoky like the day after a bonfire. He was everything that reminded me of home and what it was like to have a home. I wrapped my arms around him and he stiffened.

"No, I'm sorry" He said stepping back, pushing me away just a little too roughly. We were only to the second floor. "I'm sorry Seth. That was inappropriate. If you'd like another doctor I can arrange that"

My heart wrenched as he started, dead eyed, at the floor. His voice sounded robotic and lifeless. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I don't want another doctor. I don't want anyone else." I said, giving his arm a reassuring tug before I wrapped my arms around him as hard as I could. I inhaled his scent one more time before I heard the ding of the elevator. We walked out like nothing happened and instead of taking me to my room, where we normally had out sessions, he took me to his office.

The inside of his office was larger than Sandra's, about twice as big. It smelled of books and there was a large desk with cherry stain facing away from the window. There were two chairs in front of the desk. I sat in one, and he sat in the other. He turned to me and looked me in the eyes.

"Seth" he breathed. "There's been something… well, a few things I've been wanting to tell you.

"First, I have a strong attraction toward you. I've thought about you since I first saw you. You looked so fragile… So frail. At first, I thought maybe you would become a son or a brother figure. But then I started to think of more. And then my house started feeling so big and empty. All my things were ugly to look at if you weren't around.

"There's a few things about us shape shifters. You were given a command by your alpha not to transform anymore. Well if you break away from His pack, He won't be able to control you any more. Join my pack Seth"

"Yes." The word was out of my mouth before I he had a chance to finish. I felt a strange change in my soul. The weight of a thousand chains was lifted. I felt a burning sensation in my arm and when I looked, there was a new tattoo there. There was a large paw print in the middle, larger than my paws were… are, and there was a wreath of thorns around it. But even as I looked at it, it shifted and the thorns were smooth and it was only a woven wreath of leaves.

"The thorns had always been there before. It must be because I'm not in pain anymore, by the way stop calling me Dr. Black, its Jacob to you" Jacob said, winking at me.

"Jacob" I rolled his name on my tongue like a fine wine before I swallowed. "I want to kiss you Jacob"

His breath hitched and I heard his heartbeat increase, and I could smell lust radiation off of him. I put my hand on his shoulder and he leaned in with me. When our lips met, it was like electricity shot through my veins. I moaned softly into his lips and his tongues swirled over my lip.

I granted entry and tasted him dancing in my mouth and I quickly picked up the step. He tasted sweet, like honey, but had a bitter coffee aftertaste. Finally we pulled away, panting like… well, like dogs.

I stood up, as did he, and we met in the middle. Our bodies collided and we kissed fervently. I directed us toward the couch and Jacob reached to lock the door. We lay on the couch and kissed each other tenderly. Eventually we calmed down enough to keep our lips off each other's for than a few seconds. I lay on top of him with my head on his chest and listened to his strong heartbeat.

After not nearly enough time, he finally patted me on the back softly and said:

"It's getting late seth. We've been like this for hours now" I could feel his hot breath go past my ear and I could hear the sadness in his voice. I wanted to stay like this forever. His chest was broad and powerful. I felt his voice vibrate through my whole body when he spoke.

"Okay" I whispered gloomily. I made to get up, and he pulled me down roughly, kissing my softly at first, then more needily as I felt his chest and shoulders. "come one, you're not making this any easier"

"I'm sorry," he said. We got up and straightened each other out, making sure there were no signs of what really went on in our session. I went back to the day room and saw bella sitting in out usual spot. When I sat down she gave me an incredulous look.

"Someone having a good day?" She said, giggling slightly. I saw Jacob talking in the hall to one of the nurses. He came into the day room and looked only at me.

"I've just told the nurse to call me if you even need me, so don't hesitate to ask" He patted me on the shoulder, leaving his hand there for just a moment too long, before quickly leaving the room.

"Someone have a very good day?" She said, giggling louder this time.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, looking her dead in the eyes.

"Maybe that big stupid grin on your face" She said, doing what looked like an impression of the joker.

**so... who DOESN'T have a big stupid grin on their face? omg i know right? Anyway, i notice that i always forget to capitalize the 'b' in Bella, and my spell checker doesn't catch that. Sorry please bear with me while i try to remember capitalization. **

**Thank you to teinai, Lunareclipse, and werewolfprincezz. Your support is greatly appreciated. **

**If you love Jake you'll review. Just think of that golden skin, stretched over hard muscle, slicked with sea water after an exerting swim. His long black hair pasted to his skin and his deep eyes staring into your soul. The flush in his cheeks as his chest heaves. You know at that moment he wants you to review. and you know you want to make him happy ;)  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**OMFG! it's a good thing i love writing this story for you cause it was a PAIN IN MY SIDE trying to upload this current chapter. If you thought the last chapter was good, oooh just you wait! just. you. WAIT! lolz. **

I didn't see my Jacob the next day, so I sort of checked out and sat silently all day. Bella tried to make an effort at conversation, but after the tenth or fifteenth "so what do you think he's doing?" she gave up and colored like everyone else.

I sighed around noon when it was time to go down to lunch. Even if Jacob was going to surprise me, this would usually be the time he would. I declined to go down to the cafeteria and I declined food when it was brought up to me. For some reason I wasn't hungry and I had this uneasy feeling all day.

I walked back to my room only to realize that I didn't even want to be there. I closed my eyes and saw Jacob's face. I could still smell him on my clothes and in my hair but it was like torture. I walked around my room, feeling more and more closed in. It was as if the air was getting stuffier and hotter as the seconds passed.

I went to the window and pulled it open as far as it would go and stuck my nose out of the crack. I felt trapped and my heart started to speed up. I tried to pull the window just a little more, but forgot that my shape shifter abilities had been restored.

My whole body went cold when the window shattered. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed but I didn't hear footsteps. I quickly removed the rest of the glass from the frame and was out on the eave that hung over the walk way below.

For a moment I felt like I was doing something bad but I realized that I was here against my will. I couldn't even be with my Jacob here. And he was most certainly mine. I smelled the wind and there were slight traces of Jacob on it but nothing recent.

Jumping off the ledge, I wondered if I should shift, or if I should just stay human. I knew they would never recognize me in wolf form, but I didn't want to reveal the secret to anyone who didn't need to know. I settled on walking off toward the east.

I had been walking for hours and Jacob's scent was steadily getting stronger. I was getting to the edge of town and the forest was starting to close in on the city. Maybe it was the other way around. I resolved to shift and run as soon as it was safe and the trees were thick enough.

A new scent was on the wind. Sickly sweet, but not completely unpleasant. I looked around and saw a girl standing far back in the trees, away from the road. She was wearing a blue dress with a checked apron on it. I could see a small embroidered mushroom on the bottom left corner.

I walked toward her and noticed that her hair was cut short, and wild in the back, betraying the meticulously smoothened front. She was pale and her eyes were gold. I was surprised of the power I felt radiating from her. She was about 5 and a quarter feet tall, and I noticed that her ears were slightly pointed. I looked into her eyes and was trapped. Lipid pools of liquid gold, swirling and bubbling.

"Hi. I'm Alice" she said. Her voice was something melodic. It was as though she sang the words to me.

"Hi. I'm Seth" I said, looking away quickly.

"Come with me seth" She said, taking my hot hand in her cold one. She led me back into the woods before she stopped me. We were in a large meadow now, and there was a huge ring of mushrooms all around us. She fished a bottle out of her pocket and handed it to me. I looked down at it and there was a clear liquid in it and a small card tied to it with a bright red ribbon that said 'Drink Me' in elegant script.

When I looked up, Alice was gone and I was standing alone in the fairy ring of mushrooms. I uncorked the bottle and smelled it. I couldn't get a whiff from it; there was no scent. I stared at it for a moment before shrugging my shoulders and downing the whole bottle.

It tasted like cherry tart, which surprised me greatly when it touched my lips. I should have been able to feel it. I put my hand on my flat stomach when a queer fluttering feeling started. It was not the same feeling as when I thought of Jacob.

Suddenly, I was floating over a field. I could see the white rabbit laying, exhausted, in a thorn bush. There was a small amount of blood matted in the fur where the crow's claws had scrapped the skin, but he was unharmed otherwise. I could hear his thoughts. He was desperately trying to find someone.

"I'm too late. I'm too late! This was so, so very important and now I'm too late." There was a small stream of tears streaming from the rabbit's eyes. "I'm sorry Seth"

"Hey! Hey! I'm over here!" I already knew that it was Embry; I didn't have to see his brown eyes to know that. I tried to yell and scream to him. To let him know I was okay, that it wasn't too late. He couldn't here me. I continued until I felt the lump of frustration and emotion in my throat and my voice was hoarse and thick.

"Seth" The rabbit continued when I stopped. "I love you seth. You're my best friend in the whole world, and I wish I would have been there for you.

"I'm right here!" I finally said again, my voice was high and tight. It almost didn't make it past the painful lump in my throat, but I saw the rabbit's eyes go wide; He looked around frantically.

"Seth?" He said, he was up again and shaking. "I'm coming for you Seth! I Swear!"

Suddenly, the rabbit took off like shot. He was a white blur heading through the fresh green sea of the field. He was headed west.

I started from my dream, and ended up on the floor in a heap of blanket and Seth. I groaned and rubbed my shoulder, which had taken the brunt of the fall. I looked at the window and there was not a shard of glass missing from it. It was morning.

I groggily got ready for my day of sitting, and staring at the wall with a shower. I was surprised to see someone waiting for me. He was tall, and cold. I could tell from his scent, though, that he was not here to fight, or even argue. He turned to face me.

"Ah. Seth Clearwater," He smiled, "It's a pleasure. My name is Carlisle, I'll be your new doctor."

I looked at him incredulously.

"My new… doctor? What about ja- Dr. Black?" I asked. I tried not to let the despair show in my voice. He couldn't know what had happened.

"Dr. Black will still be your psychological doctor; I'm here as your physical doctor. They said there were a few anomalies when you were first admitted, and then they said that after your second appointment with your doctor, your temperature shot up to near fatal levels." He told me all this nonchalantly. As though he dealt with this every day. "I specialize in medical anomalies, by the way."

"Okay?" I said slowly. He winked at me when he finished his speech and I was unsure of what to think about that. He leaned in close, and prepared myself, mentally, to fight him off if I had to.

"I know about you Seth," I hadn't noticed that I had leaned in as well until I shot back up straight as an arrow. Dr. Carlisle raised his hands in front of him. "Jacob asked me to talk to you. I work on your kind as well."

I clutched my shirt over my heart as it started again and I exhaled the breath I had been holding in for altogether way to much time. I sat on the edge of my bed and tried to catch my breath. Carlisle looked at me with warm eyes and a pleasant smile. He was good looking; almost as good as Jake. His face was sculpted out of white marble, and there was a soft purple vein running along the side of his head.

"So, you know about everything?" I asked, searching his face for signs of what I really wanted to ask. Did he know that Jacob and I had done what we did?

"I'm a vampire, why wouldn't I?" He chuckled. I laughed softly too. "Jacob wanted me to make sure you were completely healthy, by your standards I mean."

I was warmed by Jacob's thoughtfulness. Even when he wasn't here he wanted to make sure I was okay. I talked with Carlisle about everything health related and he gave me a full physical, without any ball grabbing or coughing; I was glad for small favors. Cold hands!

"Seth," Carlisle said softly, just loud enough for any 'special creatures' to hear, "Jacob thinks you guys imprinted. I'd like to ask you about that too"

"I think we might have. I feel warm every time I think about him and I always wonder where he is." I said, blushing. It seemed strange to talk about our 'relationship' when I wasn't even sure of the status of said relationship.

"Maybe" He said, he patted my shoulder before leaving. I sat on my bed thinking and was surprised to find that my roommate did not come back to the room. His bed had been neatly made for two days now. I guess he got discharged. I was also surprised to find that the sky had darkened. I stood up, not sure of where I was going to go, but stopped when I heard a whisper.

Bella, I have to leave now!

No! Why? Don't leave me here!

I can't stay here with you. And I can't bring you with me. Please Bella; don't make this harder on me.

I heard bella and someone arguing. I was startled to hear that music box voice outside my dream. I walked quickly out of my room, and the hallway was dark too. With the help of my supernatural speed I went to Bella's room without being noticed. I slipped inside and saw bella on her knees, clutching at the shirt of the other girl. There were tears coming from her eyes.

"Don't you dare do this to me Alice Cullen!" She sobbed, before she noticed me. Her face went pale and I was unsure of what to do.

"Alice" I said, my breath was quick and I was excited and scared at the same time.

"Yes? Do I know you?" She said. There was a confused look on her face. Her scent was exactly the way I remembered.

"I'm Seth… We sort of met. In a dream I guess." I felt foolish when she didn't know me.

"Oh? Yes, Edward told me about you" Alice said calmly. She placed her hand tenderly on the top of Bella's head.

"Edward was here?" Bella asked softly. Alice nodded and told her that Edward had come to see her once and heard Seth's thoughts.

"He's on his way to find your friend right now" Alice said, looking at me.

I was startled. I didn't think anyone knew about my dreams but this 'Edward' seemed to.

"Bella. I have to go" Alice said softly. Bella tightened her grip on Alice's shirt.

"No, Please! Don't you dare!" Bella said, fresh tears starting.

"Bella. I think you need the help you're getting here" Alice said, trying not to cause any more harm to the poor girl's heart, " But I will come for you. Promise"

Alice pulled Bella up. They looked at each other with tenderness and moved in toward each other. They kissed softly and I felt my heart swell. I left the room silently

**Okay. So... who's super duper excited? i know i am! anyway, i got a suggestion to put Edward in the possition of a romantic rival for jacob, but i don't think that would work. But in the interest of the story I'll see what i can do. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello everybody! So this is the last chapter, but i will write an epilogue just for fun. Some of you were wondering if Embry would be Jacob's romantic rival, i hope this chapter clears it up a little more. **

I woke the next morning to a bright and clear day. I felt well rested for once, and my smile was genuine. I went to the day room and saw Bella sitting in our usual spot. She looked worse for wear but her eyes brightened when she saw me. She ran toward me and clutched at the upper parts of my sleeves, earning a disapproving look from the nurse.

"That was real last night, right?" She said softly. I nodded and she grinned. I could hear her heart pounding in her chest when I nodded. She was wearing a big stupid grin. We sat down to discuss what had happened last night when I was distracted by David coming in.

"Seth, you have a visitor" he said. "But I don't know if I should let him in. You said you didn't have any family."

"I have a visitor? Really?" I asked. My breath hitched and I started breathing quickly. I knew who would be here. My eyes darted around the room and the part of the hall I could see, searching for him. There was no one that didn't belong.

"He's outside" David said, leading me out into the hall. I was led into the waiting room outside the ward but I still didn't see anybody. "I'll go get him."

I sat down on one of the dusty armchairs and waited for what seemed an eternity. There was a vampire sitting off to the side, but I figured he was he was probably here to see Dr. Carlisle. He was reading, or at least pretending, a magazine. I decided he was pretending when I realized the title was on the bottom of the cover.

I heard the elevator ding and was hit with familiar scents, all at once. There was the forest, the ocean, the musky smell of a wolf that's been running in the rain. I turned while standing and saw Embry. His eyes were wild and he looked scared.

Our eyes met and I ran toward him, wrapping my arms around him. I felt him tense then relax, returning my hug. I felt his shoulders start to shake and he began to sob loudly. We stood crying in each others arms for what seemed like an eternity.

"I'm sorry Seth" Embry said.

"I know. I know it all" I said. "I saw you coming for me. I knew you wouldn't leave me here."

"Seth. How can you ever forgive me? After all the horrible things I let you go through alone! Heh. Some pack spirit." He said, looking down at his well worn out shoes.

" Embry, you were forgiven the moment I saw you. Why do you think this is your fault? You were the only one that didn't call me a fag. Or a queer. Or beat me up when you saw me alone in the woods. Even though you didn't talk to me, I always assumed you weren't allowed to" Seth said. He still wouldn't look at me. Red flashed through my sight as I saw more tears streaming down his face. "Dammit Embry! I told you I forgive you!"

I struck the couch for punctuation and a cloud of dust puffed out it. He was crying again. But this time, he seemed happier. He had found me and now everything would be okay. Except it wouldn't. Now not only did I not have anywhere to go after I got out of this hell hole, but Embry didn't have anywhere to go after visits were over.

"Embry. Where are you staying?" I asked suddenly.

"Um… I've been sleeping in my wolf form wherever it's dry" He said. He sounded a bit confused. I nodded once and ran to find a nurse. I told them to call get Jacob on the line immediately.

"Ja- erm… Dr. Black," the nurse was still watching, "A friend of mine is in a similar situation as I am. He came all the way to see me and now he doesn't have anywhere to go."

"You want to know if I will help him" Jacob said. I wasn't sure how to read him without seeing his face, "I'll be there as soon as I can"

"Thank you" I said before running back to where Embry was sitting. I knew he had heard everything and there was a relieved look on his face. I looked at him and smiled. "What? You though I'd leave my best friend out in the rain?"

"I did" He said sadly, looking away from me. I could tell he was beating himself up over what had happened.

"Look Embry, we all make mistakes. Every single one of us. At least you came to make your's right. You're my best friend, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do to change that." I said. I put my hand on his shoulder.

We sat and talked for a while. He told me about his journey and how when the pack found out where he was going, they came after him. They wanted him dead for high treason against the pack alpha. I told him about my dreams, and how he had spoken to me through them; how I had seen my mother and Leah leaving.

I don't know how long we talked but I heard the elevator ding and the doors slid open. I could smell him before I saw him. Jacob had just gotten here. His hair was soaked, as were his clothes, and I figured he must have ran here. I wondered how he wasn't seen or how where he put his clothes on after he sifted back. I had to stop myself from imagining him naked.

After the stuffy pleasantries had been made, only for the sake of the nurses, Embry and I were led to Jacob's office. I had my arms wrapped around Jacob before the door was even locked. We kissed each other chastely, for the sake of our guest, and Jacob sat in one of the arm chairs while Embry and I took the couch.

"So… How 'similar' are your situations?" Jacob asked, probably worried about telling an outsider about the shifters.

"He's a wolf too, and he broke away from the pack to come find me." I said. I squeezed his forearm firmly, just to make sure he was really here.

"So you left everything you know just to find a friend?" Jacob asked. There was a stern look on his face and for a moment I thought he didn't believe it.

"Well, I didn't really leave much. When your dad is a drunk, and your mom is a whore there isn't much to stay for. I figured that if I found Seth we could start some kind of makeshift life. Try to find jobs and just move on." Embry said. "Besides, seth has been there for me my whole life. I love him more than I love my own parents. Even though we're cousins, it's more like we're brothers."

I noticed Jacob heave a sigh of relief when our shared blood was mentioned. His face seemed to soften and he smiled at embry.

"Well, if you came all the way here just to find Seth, then I can't let you leave with no where to go. You can come and stay at my house. And don't worry about rent, as long as you can clean up after yourself and you don't mind cooking or cleaning every once in a while." Jacob was officially my hero.

A lump had formed in my throat and I smiled, a tear of happiness rolling down my cheek.

**-sniff- There it is! roll credits and such. Did you like the ending? I thought it would be the best place to cut it off. Thanks again to all my readers, even the 10 or 15 that NEVER ONCE reviewed. oh how i would have loved to know what you thought! But oh well. **

**People i love: werewolfprincess, Teinai, sahisdabest, eeyeore-ft-tigger, and Lunareclipse. If i forgot you I'm sorry.  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone. The long awaited last chapter of White Rabbit. I can't believe i've actually done it! This will be the first fanfic i have ever finished! thank you everyone who supported me. I'm very grateful. **

The sky was bright blue and the flowers were blooming. The smell of fresh lavender filled the air and the court yard was set in dashing red drapery and a lovely crimson tea set on a glass table with rod iron chairs.

"What a lovely day it is" I said, nudging my friend the white rabbit.

"I agree. How splendid to be invited to the palace for tea" He said, checking his pocket watch. "Oh dear, we'd better hurry"

We walked into the palace and we were met by the red queen herself in red fur robes, smoking a cigarette out of a ridiculously long holder.

"So vonderful of joo to be hear daaaalings. Please, doo come een." She said. My friend had not mentioned it was the red drag queen. We were just setting down to tea when I heard my name being shouted and I was suddenly plunged out of wonderland.

" Embry. Come with me. I have a surprise for you" Jacob said. He had woken me up by rubbing my stomach, but still hadn't stopped. He leaned in to kiss me, but I put my hand in front of my mouth.

"Not until I brush" I said. He laughed and I got out of bed, clad only in my boxers, and went into our bathroom. He watched me from the door way, leaning on the jamb. I brushed efficiently and kissed him ass soon as I spit.

"Mmm. Minty fresh" He said, dipping in for another taste. I held myself up on his shoulders; my knees had gone weed. He grabbed my hair by the roots and pulled back firmly and I moaned into his mouth.

"was that your surprise?" I asked, breathless.

"No, not that" He said grinning.

"Well, you're going to have to cook up something pretty good, cause that was awesome." I said. I blushed when I looked down and realized just how awesome it was. We snickered and had breakfast together in the light of the morning sun.

Jacob suggested we go for a run shortly after breakfast and we quickly undressed and shifted, but not before I snuck a few peaks at Jake's perfect body. Nice hard stomach and those cuts along the hip; pure unadulterated sex.

We were running through the thicker part of the forest when I smelled that sickly sweet smell. Jake and I switched directions on a dime to run toward the smell. There was killing on Jacob's mind, but I quickly told him who it was. I knew.

Alighted in a tree, holing hands, were Alice and Bella. Bella was pale, and making the scent stronger. I figured she was a vampire now as well. I shifted and quickly slipped on the shorts that were tied to my leg. Jacob shifted and dressed as well.

"ALICE!" I shrieked. They jumped down from the tree and I hugged them with enough force to snap a regular person in half. "It's so good to see you!"

"Hey Seth." She said smiling. I was always amazed by her musical voice. I turned to Bella.

"So I see things worked out for the best?" I asked Bella.

"better than I could have ever hoped for. She's wonderful!" Bella said, pulling Alice closer and kissing her cheek.

I smelled a familiar scent and was surprised when I saw Embry running toward us as well. He shifted and blushed furiously when he realized he had forgotten to bring clothes. I guess he didn't plan on seeing anyone.

"Embry!" I shouted, hugging him with the same bone crushing force. "what a coincidence, eh?"

"well, actually, I asked him to come." I watched the vampire that had been there when Embry first arrived step from behind a tree. "I'm Edward, by the way."

I shook his hand and we all stood in a circle in silence for a moment.

"so… How have you been?" I asked Embry, just to break the silence.

"Well, I went back to La Push for a few days, and there's a few people who want to appologize for what happened." Embry said. There was a broad grin on his face. I watched as I saw my mother, back to her former glory, and Leah, now a woman, walk into the clearing.

"Seth…" I heard my mom whisper. There were tears in her eyes. She grabbed leah's hand for support before she broke into a run. Her body hit mine with enough force to knock us both onto the ground. She sobbed into my chest and I hugged her against me, harder than I had ever hugged anyone in my life. "Baby… Baby I'm so sorry I let him hurt you."

"Mom it's okay." I whispered into her ear. We stood up and I wiped the tears from her eyes and looked into her face. She looked like a woman that had gotten away. Aged, but still young. Her hair had it's luster back and her eyes were bright. There were no bruises or marks on her. I looked at leah who looked like she was holding back tears.

"My baby brother" She whispered before tackling my in a similar way to my mother. I held her longer than anyone else. "I'm so sorry! I swear I didn't mean it! I was so scared Seth. I didn't know how to handle it. I was just being selfish and protecting myself."

"My big sis is back" I sobbed.

Once the tears had stopped, and the introductions made, I asked the obvious of Leah: "what pack are you in?"

"I don't have a pack" She said, blushing. It was embarrassing for shifters to not have a pack to belong to and I noticed that there was only a small paw print on her shoulder, where before there had been an extravagant marking detailing the whole history of the Quileute Pack. I put my hand on it and smiled.

"you'll join Jake and Embry and me." I said. I saw her face scrunch up and lifted my hand. There was a wreath of small budding flowers surrounding four paw prints of respective sizes. I watched as on the outer most ring of the wreath, thorns formed. Long and sharp, but not a single on pointed inside. That was Leah's part of the mark. Beauty with an edge.

I looked at my own and saw it was the same. Embry was scratching his shoulder, and Jacob just looked at his own in wonder.

"I didn't think they changed when people were added" Bella said, closely examining Jake's arm. "interesting"

"Yeah, I've never seen anything like it. But then, I've never spent my leisure time with wolves" Alice said, a loving smile on her face.

"I think it tells our story. See how when we added Leah to our pack the thorns and flowers appeared? That's Leah. Pretty but dangerous. And then there's the wreath. That's me, holding everyone together. Notice how Embry's print looks like it has eyes right in the middle? He's watchful. Jake's paw print is solid and bold showing him as the alpha." I said. The other's nodded and murmured.

"So what should we do?" Alice asked. We had been sitting in silence for the last half hour. She must be getting bored.

"Yeah. Way to go Seth! You and your philosophical speeches." Embry said, poking me in the side. We all laughed and everyone agreed when Jake suggested we go for a run. Mom rode on Leah. It looked like they had practice.

We were together and complete. One bit happy family. Leah and Embry have been getting pretty chummy lately and I think Bella and Alice have made it their personal mission to set up my mom and Bella's dad. Those two are crazy.

**If you liked this story you should favorite me. I'm going to be writing a new story pretty soon. I'm not really sure who i'm going to put together, but i think i'm going to switch teams and got for some vampires pretty soon. Thank you again for reading, please review. **


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